It's getting better, isn't it? I think so...so much so I can't even bear to look at the older stuff at the bottom! I worry at what shocking errors I will find...maybe it's better that way; signs of progression!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
...the reluctant psychic
Eddie lay silent on the bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling above him. In the half-light of the bedroom he could pick out the patterns and swirls in the artex above. This was a nightly event; a few hours slumber followed by a stare-a-thon until the morning light filtered through the aged and dishevelled curtains. Only then could he return to sleep where his mind drifted within seas and rivers, soaring over building and mountains — his dreams were always landscapes of solitude and beauty. Far removed from the closeted and enclosed world he lived in.
Jill, his partner, was always up with the lark. Humming away to herself as she glided in her tie-dye skirt. Eddie swore he hadn't seen her legs in years, circa 1985, the wind at the beach being slightly too aggressive. Besides, he didn't think she had shaved them for just as long so it didn't bother him...not any more at least. Any glimmer of sexual behaviour between them both had long since passed — with her unshaven legs that was likely to continue.
"Eddie-Luv?!" Jill hollered from the bottom of the stairs. "Time for sleepy Ed to get up, you've got an appointment in an hour!"
He rolled and grumbled, it seemed not five minutes since he'd dropped off to sleep.
"Do you want a cup of Green tea?" Her shrill voice bounced off the walls and howled inside his ears.
Eddie raised his head slightly to have more effect in his reply "Oh alright then." As if a loaded gun was pressed to his forehead.
Green tea was her drink du jour, of any 'jour' for that matter. Since they met in the early 70's, they had rolled along horizontally in time. Not too many peaks or troughs, just flat lining aimlessly. She, still addicted to Green Tea and shapeless clothes. He, ever drowning in Green Tea and moral fraudulence.
Eddie was a practising 'psychic healer and medium', according to the business card at least. He and Jill met at some hippie festival way back when thoughts of the ethereal plane and peace to all men was highly in vogue. He impressed her with his voyages of fantasy and claims to be in touch with the spiritual world. For quite some time she swooned over the young Edward, she felt different to be with someone so different. Neither of them fitted the norm, Eddie was a bit of a loner, but charming with a warm heart and smile. Jill, psychedelic, warped back then, stuck in a time warp now, insisting that the world will be just fine with a dash of peace, love and cake (and if Cannabis could be thrown in for good measure, that would be marvellous.)
A few years later they moved into a lavish 4 storey town house and remained self-sufficient. A frugal recycling lifestyle way before sorting the plastics and papers became in vogue had put them in good stead. The money Eddie brought in from his clients was more like pin money really. A healthy allowance from a dead relative on Jill's side gave them no need to change the status quo, neither of them wanted for much...or so it seemed.
Jill delivered the tea to Eddie who had at least sat up in bed.
"Here you are Eddie-Luv." he could almost predict the sentence flowing from her lips. He gratefully received the cup nonetheless. He had been know as "Eddie-Luv" for so long now he had to stop himself for quoting it as his own name. She sent him birthday and Christmas cards to "Eddie-Luv" for years, it was quite literally embedded into his being. Any annoyance seemed like a low current itch rather than a raging irritation. At least she still used his name, even if the 'Luv' part seemed more pet related than sexually charged.
"Ta." he replied nonchalantly.
"How many appointments today?" she asked.
"Just three today. Nobody wants to travel in this weather." Eddie looked out of the window next to the bed. Raining again.
"Well, some of us still have to go out." Jill was already in her coat and wellies. Eddie hadn't noticed, her shabby skirt was covering most of the boots.
"Where you off to?" he asked, feigning interest, but asking just the same.
"Oh Briony in the village, she wants some help with a flower arrangement for the Fête, you know, next week? Well, I have to run...see you later!" she blew him a kiss (a literal one would be so lucky.) Her wellies flapped against her non-shaved legs. Eddie sipped his green tea to divert his mind from such an un-sexy thought as wellies and hair flailing in the wind. He winced with the taste of the foul smelling tea, he thought it was good for his waistline, so sipped it just the same.
Within the hour he was ready for his first appointment. He tidied the office, pumped up the cushions on the comfortable brown sofa and started the 'chill-out' CD which he used to set he scene for his clients. He felt that making people feel relaxed was half the battle, the other half was with himself.
Eddie's gift for connecting to the 'other side' was suspect. Some may have said that the whole subject was suspect, but lately even Eddie was struggling to justify taking money from people who, by and large, were in search of someone, felt deserving of closure or just wanted a bloody good cry. His talent was waning. For a few months now he felt his ethereal antenna was a bit wonky. More than a couple of times he had actually made it all up, much to his own disgust. He hated taking 35 quid from these poor curious saps at the best of times, as it led to more questions than answers mostly, but to fabricate almost the whole hour bothered him. Why was it happening? What was the change?
The clock on the wall gave a quiet 'bong' as the clock reached 10 o'clock. His next appointment, Julie Stanton, was due. He had not seen her before, which was normal, but she was recommended to see Eddie by a 'regular' who had seen him quite a few times before. If he could feel anything about Julie, it was that she was in some distress. He thought that this may help, if he could tune into her woe then it may spark his heavenly host to come forth and pull its finger out.
Eddie had what's known in the trade as a "spirit guide". Well, he had. The little sod hadn't surfaced for a few weeks. Eddie imagined him getting drunk in the clouds, being surrounded by pole dancing angels. Hoping he would come back for this session would be a turn-up for the books. A few minutes later the bell chimed, Eddie rose and walked out of office and down to the front door.
"Julie?" He asked informally, even though it was hardly likely to be anyone else.
"Yes, Hi, Hello." She offered her left hand which wasn't necessary, but Eddie shook it gently, her soft cold hand grasped his fingers in a very lady-like handshake. Julie lowered the hood of her coat and revealed her face. She couldn't be a day over 25, blonde, thin-lips, green eyes that were weighed heavy with tears. Eddie could sense that this one could be trouble.
Her right hand held an umbrella which she lowered and shook off the rain..
"Come in, come in, you must be soaking!" he ushered Julie inside. She looked in and around at the new surroundings for a fleeting moment.
Eddie showed her way into his office with an outstretched arm "If you turn to your left and find yourself a seat, I'll be with you in a minute."
She handed him her wet umbrella which he placed in the bottom of the coat stand. She took her coat off herself, placed it on a hook and walked into the office. Eddie casually glimpsed at her shapely frame as she passed. Dressed in a white blouse and black skirt with stiletto heeled shoes, she walked towards Eddie's office. Eddie admired her hips and how they gracefully shifted before following her. "Keep your eyes off her arse, Ed!" he smiled, allowing himself a moment of pleasure.
"Would you like a drink? Green tea?" Eddie offered even though he knew he should have stopped short of offering 'green tea'.
"No thank you, I'm fine Mr Chambers." Julie was now sat on the edge of the sofa, clutching a handkerchief as if her life depended on it.
"Please, call me Eddie." he said as he relaxed into his own well worn chair. "Now, is this your first time to see a....someone like me?" He seemed slightly embarrassed to use a title given how he felt about his talent and whether his guide was going to 'turn up' for business.
"Um, no, I-I, this is my first time, Mr Chambers." she looked at the floor as she spoke, hiding her emotions, feeling less at ease by the second.
Eddie had seen this before, many a time. She clearly was a grieving widow. Her wedding and engagement ring were still on her finger. She played with the rings whilst holding the hankie. A comfort mechanism; holding onto the only item she had left of him. A tokens of a love cruelly ripped from her brutally. Eddie could sense a figure within his sixth sense already, Julie sat nervously on the edge of the sofa, feet crossed, hands a whirl of nervous tension.
"Please, sit back...relax...let me do the work, Julie. You have nothing to fear here." It was a mantra that he had perfected over the years, punctuated by the use of her name. This was something he had picked up a long time ago; the use of the clients name helped to make the whole experience personal, meaningful. With those words, Julie snapped into life, stood, adjusted her skirt and sat once more. Eddie looked into his notes but noticed her silky movement nonetheless, and sat back down leaning into the right arm of the sofa. Crossing his legs for comfort, he realised he was still wearing his furry slippers. Julie was none the wiser, still looking down at her handkerchief. Maybe he could get away with this footwear faux pas just this once.
For the next hour Eddie struggled, and struggled badly. He fidgeted in his seat more than his client. A rogue slipper falling off halfway through his appalling performance as a soothing medium added insult to injury. Only snippets of raw talent and feeling came from his 'guide'. Eddie felt quite ashamed to take money from the poor widow as she drifted into the torrential rain.
He needed some tea.
Jill came home soon after, she always timed her return to coincide with Eddie's clients leaving.
"Eddie-Luv? Are you alright?" she shiftily asked, putting something into a cupboard and noticed Eddie sitting at the dining table.
"Ach...it was horrible. I don't think I can do this anymore, Jill." Eddie slumped over his teacup, shoulders hunched.
Jill panicked slightly "Why the heavens not?" The irony of the 'heavens' and Eddie's line of work pun passed her by.
"I felt such a fraud, I let the poor woman down. She'd just lost her husband in an accident and all I could do was tell her it was going to be all right, that he was looking down on her. The usual bobbins." Eddie pushed away his cup of (normal) tea.
"You need a cup of Jill's special brew, Eddie-Luv." she said with consoling tones.
"I've got another one at 1 o'clock, I've got to get myself together, I'm off for a nap!" Eddie threatened. It was hardly a threat that would cause earthquakes in the household but Jill could see that he was definitely serious, his tone was agitated and edgy.
She poured him some hot water and added her green tea mix, adding a little bit more than usual.
"Here you go, Eddie-Luv" she laid the cup down and pushed it towards him. "Get that down you. Briony's given me some blackberries. I was thinking of making a crumble; you know you love a crumble." Jill knew how to work on Eddie. He was a partial to home-made food, not that he had much choice, she insisted on making everything that they ate. There was no processed food in this household.
"That would be nice, dear." His mood had barely lifted, but it was acknowledgement nonetheless of her efforts. With that he picked up his cup and retired to his office once more. Hopefully to recover a little before his next session.
Jill watched as he left the kitchen. Her smile dropped as he left the room to a grimace.
"Not good enough, Jillian, not good enough at all." she scowled at herself. "It's that bitch Briony, she's selling sub-standard stuff."
She took out a hessian bag that she had brought home and examined it. The usual suspects inside, local produce for local people, carrots, blackberries, broad beans...marijuana and ecstasy pills. The latter items being hidden at the bottom, out of sight and mind. Jill examined the transparent bags to find flaws, her face screwed up and terse.
Over the years she had been giving Eddie all manner of potions, bewitching elixirs and classifications of drugs. Most of which were to keep him on a leash, but also to keep him living with the fairies and doling out the tales of the dead to whoever walked through the door. Regardless of the blinding headaches, monumental mood swings, hungers and thirsts, Eddie had quaffed more MDMA than a teenager on a Mediterranean fortnight. He had eaten more hash based bakery than a University student. He had more drugs in his system than a touring rock band. She loved him still, but only in the way she wanted or let herself love him.
Jill fussed around the kitchen in a fuming haze, half ticked off the Eddie was losing his abilities, half at Briony for providing sub-standard gear. Inadvertently, she dropped her bag and swore.
"Bollocks!" as the mixed 'herbs', berries and pills spilled onto the tiled floor.
The commotion stirred Eddie from his brief slumber. He rose and headed towards the kitchen.
"What is it, love?" he said reaching the kitchen, seeing Jill greedily grabbing at the items on the floor.
"Nothing Eddie-Luv, i just had a slip, that's all." Jill sounded flustered in the extreme.
Eddie spied a packet on the floor that slid underneath a chair, out of sight of where Jill was still frantically to recover objects. He stooped and picked up a clear plastic bag of powder. He instantly assumed it was some kind of sugar, why wouldn't he? Jill stood to find him taking a sniff.
"Nooooo!!!!" Jill screeched, causing the timid Eddie to jump and spill the substance on the floor.
"You idiot Eddie, do you have any idea how much that's worth?"
The words tumbled out of her mouth but the brain had not been priorly engaged. Whilst Eddie was smothered and cosseted, he wasn't a total loss. He had seen enough television to know that he was in close contact with Cocaine.
"No, Jill I don't have an idea how much it's worth, why don't you tell me?" Eddie took a tone of voice which he had rarely used, if ever, before. Using a new created confidence, he snatched from her hands another packet, this time it was not quite the common or garden type of weed but weed of a much different kind.
The familiar smell hit him instantly, it was a smell that he had known for over 20 years. A wave of realisation hit him — Green tea. What he thought was a diuretic to help him with his middle age spread was in fact keeping him as high as a kite! All the feelings of paranoia he felt with his clients raised their ugly heads again. Were they onto him? Was he really in touch with their loved ones after all? Was it all a drug induced fugue? Where is my spirit guide? All these questions flashed across his mind instantly.
"You've been feeding me....DRUGS? For....for....HOW LONG, JILL?" he screamed, throwing the marching powder on the table, white dust ballooned in the air.
Jill hung her head in shame and sniffled. Eddie hadn't seen her cry since seeing Free Willy.
"I'm....sorry Eddie-Luv. You..." she paused to sniff into her cardigan "always performed better with your clients when you'd had a fix."
"A FIX?" Is that what you call it?" Eddie fumed. "You've had me like a junkie for lord knows how long, because I could tell a good story to the poor souls coming in the door?" he pointed at the front door for no apparent reason, but his rage was incandescent. He shook his head, feeling a complete failure. Whatever he said, whatever he felt was drug induced or as a direct result of years of substance abuse. For all the feelings and emotions that he thought were 'pure' the only pureness was in the quality of the chemicals within his tea!
"I never meant to hurt you, you know that." Jill wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement.
"Hurt me? How could I ever tell if I was hurt? I was either away with the fairies or losing the plot, Jill. How could I really know how I felt...really?" Eddie was calming down, but still coming to terms that he lived in a drug haven.
For minutes that seemed like hours, they stood in silence. Neither one knowing the right words to say. Both of them knew that whilst the lid was blown off the whole affair, the tin was still in tact. Both could always see the funny side in most situations, although this did take the biscuit, whether it had hash in it or not.
Jill sighed. Put the kettle on and turned to faced Eddie and kissed him on his balding head.
"Tea or Coffee, Eddie-Luv?" she asked.
Eddie paused for a moment, somewhat pleased that the cold atmosphere had been broken.
"Coffee, please." he answered as the doorbell rang for Eddie's next appointment.
This post has 5 comments
Not a criticism............i just wanted more!
Well done - look forward to reading further 'tales'!
Well done you!!! :)